The 21st Century Gentleman

     Okay so not that long ago GQ (which happens to be one of my favorite mags) did a feature on 66 rules, tips, and secrets for living and looking like a civilized man.  I won’t sit here and go through every single one but I would lilke to share a few of my favorites because quite frankly,  SOME people need help.

1. FIND A SIGNATURE SCENT.  Apparently if you have an everyday scent, people will start to register you invisibly and more importantly, remember you. They also go on to tell you exactly how to wear cologne.  You want a single short spray on the top of each forearm, one on the neck, and one down the back of the shirt (before you button up, pull the collar back a nd aim downward).
    
2. HIT THE LINKS.  You don’t need anything flashy or gimmicky.  The fact that you’re wearing cufflinks at all is enough of a statement.
    
3. If you think you’re being a player, you’re probably just cockblocking.  Don’t cockblock.  This is a serious offense.  This isn’t stealing the girl.  The mindset here is that  you’re only interested in seeing another man fail to get the girl.  What kind of gentlymen takes pleasure in denying others pleasure? Not cool.
    
4. Don’t send her a text at 11pm that says ” what’s up.”  A little lame.  Try to be nice “I was thinking about you,” or funny “would you like to have an underwear-taking off contest?”
    
5. HOW TO OPEN A DOOR FOR A FEMINIST.  Now this is important, I learned something new here.  Well first let me say this, when it comes to opening building doors, you only have to leave it open for no more than one or two women, then cut it.  You’re not a bellhop.  The part that got me was the rule for car doors.  Apparently, when it comes to car doors, she’s on her own.  UNLESS, she’s wearing heels or more makeup than usual.  I wish I had knew that all along, I been wasting effort.
    
6. DUMP HER LIKE A MAN.  Forget about trying to be the sweetest guy on the planet, don’t rob her of the opportunity to hate your *expletive* guts.  Oh and here’s a major no no, don’t embark on a long campaign of low level cruelty and increasing emotional distnce until she finally breaks down and dumps you herself because you were too passive and too much of a little biatch to do it yourself.  And remember, there’s always a possibility that she might be happieer abouth this than you are.
    
7. STAY TRIMMED.  Now this is a little easier for me because I cut hair, but if you don’t own a pair of clippers be sure to see your barber every week.  The homeless look isn’t in.
    
8. Try not to check you email, phone, or whatever wen you’re in a social situation.  It’s RUDE.  
    
9. If you have to take a call, at least say “I’m sorry, is it okay if I take a call?  It’s important.”  The difference between this and just answering is immeasurable.
    
10. KEEP YOUR BUSINESS OUT OF THE STREETS.  Those online sex surveys?  One word, TASTELESS.  You can do better than that.
     
11. STAY TIMELESS.  If there’s one thing that every man needs, it’s a killer watch.  I myself rock an all black watch with a diamond in it.  What you need is an understated, vintage-inspired timepiece.  You don’t want something that takes up too much attention.
     
12. Be certain that your virtual presence is always smaller than your actual presence in the lives of the people you are really friends with.
     
13. Don’t write anyting on somebody’s facebook wall you wouldn’t say in the presence of everyone on that person’s friends list.

The term “gentleman” can be hard to define, but there is an underlying superstructure that can be boiled down:  Basic human decency prevails.